This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
