Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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