I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
