I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
