Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
