my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
