New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
