got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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