break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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