let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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