What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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