I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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