I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize