Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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