who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
