You're so nebulous sometimes
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
