U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
