I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
