ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
