I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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