Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
