what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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