his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
