I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think I am morally bankrupt
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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