i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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