it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
