i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
