im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
