Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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