So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
if only i could text you this smell
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
