just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
