she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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