I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
