I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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