he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
