Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
