Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
