isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
