I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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