the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
