No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
