I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize