Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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