About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
