Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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