Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
