I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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