Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
