Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
