totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
