Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize