we're making bets on your personal life
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
