So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
