So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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