oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
