i just google imaged poop.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
