I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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