Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize