oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
