She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize