Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
