I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
