Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize