His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
