I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize