I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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