he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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